Oops. Wrong “off”. Well, you know…read on despite the Lil’ Kim and Timbo.
For the most part, I’m very easygoing. I feel that I’m wise enough to understand the presence of things in the world, and choose if they should or should not affect me accordingly. Few things are able to lodge themselves beneath my skin and cause a noticeable irritation. I can roll with the punches like Sugar Ray Leonard on ecstasy. I have become well equipped to acknowledge the purpose and significance of people’s actions and the goings on around me. However, there is one thing that will forever irritate and frustrate me:
brush-off, n: a quietly curt or disdainful dismissal
The avoidance is worse than the pure, unhindered rejection; similar to calling Christopher Reeves a pussy when he broke his most important of structural systems, it adds insult to injury. Dismissal I can handle, but the lack of any ounce of compassion I cannot. To me, it is perhaps one of the rudest and most careless things one human can do to another. To treat someone as unworthy of a simple explanation, for better or worse, defines true cowardice. Yet, for whatever reason, it seems like a popular tactic amongst our civilization.
In my life, the brush-off has ended relationships, killed the birth of new ones, damaged friendships, and stranded me in the dark regarding employment and education opportunities. It has often left me wondering if the other party had died, or some other such tragic event had occurred, or if I had committed some sort of atrocity. And thus I tended to blame myself because I didn’t know any different.
Then I had an epiphany that all these people I’d come in contact with throughout my life were just shameless poltroons; made useless by fright. Individuals too selfish to determine a finite ending, and too proud to concede to one. Thus, such a mindset ignored me and abandoned me with my thoughts and paltry words which soon festered into an angry and hateful wound in my soul. And this, dear reader, has not been an isolated incident, but one that still continues in many of my personal meetings.
I take it in stride and try not to be that way. That’s really all I can do. Learn and grow, and leave all those worthless self-centered motherfuckers in the dust. I cannot change others minds at this stage of the game, so I ain’t even gonna try. I can only start shooting a little straighter, more from the hip, and be more frank, honest, and direct. Making observations of the pitfalls I’ve noticed, and declaring my avoidance of them, is the only consolation I have at this point. And I will cherish the shit out of that.